All foxes are grey

Yatta! We did it!!! Even though the pop-up porn virus Echo put in the world’s computer system didn’t work because the architects of the flesh knew we were coming to their space  station to throw their god into space to join the christian god who is all beardy and looks down on you from very far away and didn’t like his own son very much but maybe they were too busy looking at all the colourful lingerie that the porn girls were wearing and they didn’t have time to arrange a proper party for us because all they had to throw at  us were 50 space zombies and a spinning dragon called Desdemona who’s really a woman. They really really must hate clothes in the future because the space zombies weren’t even wearing space suits they just fired them out of the space station straight at us in just their underwear but I suppose if you’re dead you don’t care what you’re wearing or maybe once you die in the future you get some sense and you refuse to wear their  stupid grey clothes I wish I did! Actually after Grandma Noodles’s Apprentice fired me out of the airlock with all the other rubbish I thought about that a bit and I used my magic to change my body so I didn’t have to breathe anymore and then I didn’t have to wear that stupid grey suit. I suppose I got the idea from Grandma Noodles because I had to help her change her suit so it could fit all those bottles of special potion that smells like bad sake. She fights really well after she drinks that potion but it smells pretty bad especially since she’s such a good noodle cook (her noodles are sooooooooo oishii yo!!) but I’ve never actually seen her make the potion so  maybe she buys it somewhere anyway when we take over allllllll the Feng Shui sites in the world maybe she can make a better potion.

[gasp!]

anyway so they fired 50 space zombies and a dragon at us, so Grandma Noodles’s Apprentice fired me out of the airlock with all the rubbish, and then he found out that the spaceship has this big claw on it which must be what he was going to use to bring me back inside when he realised he’d fired me out of the airlock but instead he started hitting the zombies with it which is a really good idea because in space even a little bump makes you fly off forever into the sun unless you’re like me and you can fly wherever you want and wear any miniskirt you want even a grey one but I’m never gonna wear grey again never ever! So I thought making the  zombies fly into the sun is a good idea so I threw rubbish at them with my magic and it hit lots of them and Grandma Noodles and Kitsune and Echo and Uncle Ed who turns up sometimes when I think really hard went out onto the spaceship and started killing space zombies who move like really slowly but then the big dragon stopped spinning round and round and landed on the nose of the spaceship so everyone had to fight her but she kept blowing up and even though I was a long way away and hiding behind rubbish I nearly died which is weird because my science teacher told me that there’s no fire in space so it must have been magical fire who knew that a dragon has magic fire? I thought they just flew around and had a pearl in their brain and said clever things but then I didn’t know they moved by spinning around either so I suppose you learn something new about people every day before you kill them.

[gasp]

so after Kitsune turned the whole spaceship into an electric exploding death rocket and Grandma Noodles’s Apprentice crashed the spaceship into the space station through the dragon and Kitsune had somersaulted off its exploding spleen we all went to the door to the space station which the Architects of the Flesh had to keep locked because there’s no air in  space so I disintegrated the door and then Echo opened the inner door because she’s really clever but I came in late because I had been burnt really bad like the yakitori Grandma Noodles makes only yakiyuki so I had to spend  a bit of time healing myself. We all got inside the door and looked around and there was a room with these scientists in and there was a hole in the roof but no air was escaping because  it actually went to the netherworld which has air in it even though demons don’t need to breathe which must mean they like yelling a lot which is what the dragon did when Grandma Noodles’s Apprentice flew the  rocket ship through her stomach only we couldn’t hear what she was saying because there was no air and if there was we probably would only have heard lightning and explosions anyway

[gasp]

but the Little God that’s tougher than our God was there in Fox form with one tail sticking into the netherworld and the other 8 tails swishing about like my Cat did when it was watching a mouse and the God was looking at us but it was kind of see-through like a jellyfish so I don’t think it had manifested properly which is kind of an oops but then when we looked down under the floor we saw that the shrine box that Gods come in was bound in a kind of magic circle that must be stopping the Little God from getting out  which is weird because that’s what the Architects wanted to do with the God but we didn’t think about that too much yet because we don’t think we just Do because that’s what Bruce Lee said works and it’s worked so far hasn’t it? But Echo thinks and she said she thought Omega was somewhere in the room and she would know because she’s just like him only younger so I cast a spell through my phone and I could see omega was right in front of us and I sent everyone the picture and then Echo did a thing with her big sword and one of his scary guns broke and all his scary agony grenades that hurt us last time fell on the floor like that time I was trying to leave the convenience store with the chu hais and my high school skirt unrolled by accident and they all fell on the floor and I’d forgotten to pay and the guy behind the counter got really angry and it took me like 10 minutes to calm him down which is really long for me and then the other customers were really angry because they were locked out and there was a special offer on UFO Noodles. Only Omega didn’t get to pick up his agony grenades and go home and lie down like I did because then everyone started kicking and punching him and his other gun exploded and melted his face and then Grandma Noodles touched him on the elbow like Bruce Lee does and then while he was standing still looking at the ceiling Kitsune said something to him that none of us could hear and then he died horribly and I said “otsukaresamadeshita” and everyone else clapped and Grandma Noodles had a drink

[gasp]

which makes me think that if the Buro’s super soldier is that easy to kill then maybe the God is too but the scientists didn’t want to let the God out for us to kill but then I disintegrated the glass barrier between us and them and all the bits of Omega that Kitsune left on the glass went spattering into the room and I think that scared them so they let the God go but that was a really stupid thing to do because we were just going  to talk to them and maybe also throw them out of the airlock to die unless Kitsune got to them first but the God stole their souls and turned them into wraiths and then the God changed from its Foxy Form to its Wraith Form and I didn’t know shrine Gods had a wraith form maybe that was something Mummy was going to tell me if the Copycat Ninjas hadn’t killed her

[gasp]

so anyway I was thinking that maybe I should go out of the airlock too but my scooter blew up with the rocketship and its a long way to fly to earth without a scooter and anyway I’d be trapped in the future with the grey clothes and a mad Fox Wraith chasing me after it ate my friends’ souls so I figured I’d better stay and die well so I stayed. We had this magician with us and he turned out to be from 9AD and because in 9AD they don’t have the internet or philosophy or anything their magic is really really evil so he offered us snakes we could use to become evil too and only the good die young so everyone said YEAH we’ll have snakes and be powerful and evil and live forever and me and Kitsune said no we’ll be good and weak and die young because we don’t think we just Do like Bruce Lee who must be good because he  died really young. And the WraithFoxGod made its dead scientist wraiths attack us and plugged itself into the  computer because all the chi beaming up from earth was going to go into it and it was going to keep getting bigger and tougher until it was bigger and tougher than anyone so Echo plugged the Big God that’s weaker than the WraithFoxGod into the computer too and then Echo started trying to channel the chi from Earth into our God instead of the bad God but they were fighting in like the spirit world or something which is a really boring place but at least they weren’t doing it where we were. So we fought the 9 Scientist Wraiths which steal chi but then I remembered that I’m like a priest so I started banishing them and Grandma Noodles hit a few and Kitsune killed a few and then they were all gone.

[gasp]

and because Echo was doing really cool computer things our God was beating the WraithFoxGod and so then we all attacked the WraithFoxGod and it died really fast and disappeared and we were all really happy until we realised we were stuck on a space station without a rocketship and the only way out was through the netherworld portal but that goes to the army of the Architects of the Flesh and the way the world works we could probably kill all of them but if they had more spinny-explodey dragon-women then we could all die and that’s what you get for being like Bruce Lee and not thinking before you Do I suppose but he died from taking aspirin not from being eaten alive by a giant spinning exploding dragon (but I haven’t seen the movie so I don’t know for sure) anyway then the bad wizard with the evil magic from 9AD made a hole in the floor and said “frying pan or fire”? which I think must be some kind of 9AD invocation of great power, because when we jumped down the hole and he said “oh fiiiiiiiire!” we ended up in Hell. Well, we all guessed it was hell from the fires and the moaning sounds and the colour of the sky and the smell but sometimes Kitsune takes a long time to understand what’s happening like how she didn’t realise it was a copycat Ninja that killed her mother but kept thinking it was Omega but there was this man who was looking over his shoulder at us and he was crying like he’d cut an onion and he told Kitsune we were in Hell

[gasp]

so now we’re in hell but at least we killed a God. Yatta!

 

Strange Doings in Strange Junctures

Schoolgirls in space...

So we were all doing fine in the 2009 juncture, but we hadn’t found my Shrine’s God so we went to 2056 where the Architects Of the Flesh had taken It, and when we got there we met these flying apes and they helped us to find the secret research lab where my god was being held only we had help from the Dragons and while the apes were fighting the Flying Iron Men from the Buro I had to try and rescue my mummy who was trapped in a sarcophaga-[whatever] and like I said we had help from the Dragons but Kar Fai is old and Useless so mummy had to stay unconscious

[gasp]

only then we all had to go raid the flying ship-thingy, and Kitsune’s mummy was there but she was a hostage of the Architects of the Flesh and I disintegrated the bomb belt she was wearing because it didn’t suit her and I did it through my phone and then Kitsune and Grandma Noodles flew down to earth on a parachute of noodles and I rescued Echo who smells and has a robot arm and where has that ghost-girl gone? Doesn’t matter anyway because we all went back down to save my God from under the floor of the lab but Kar Fai and the Dragons had gone and taken the God with them AND my mummy even though she was brainwashed

[gasp]

so then anyway we chased them in a big tanky-thing but it was slow and Echo thinks she is so good at driving but she is completely like heta yo, so I jumped on my moped and I caught the Dragons in their car but they didn’t want to talk to me and my mummy was angry and then kitsune had to protect her mummy because my mummy tried to kill kitsune’s mummy and when she did kitsune had to defend her mummy but she must have cut her by mistake or something because when my mummy’s magic cleared and all the flashing dots were gone from my eyes Kitsune’s mummy was gone and there was a big soldier with a robot arm who Echo called omega and then we had a fight but I threw my moped at omega and he ran away but we couldn’t catch him

[gasp]

so then my mummy died and she didn’t even say thanks but she said something about 1868 and I thought she meant that new CK perfume I can’t afford but Grandma Noodles said that was her birthday – I mean like when she was born, not like the last time she was pretty and someone gave her a present on her birthday, which was probably 1898 – and Kitsune said we were both stupid and that was the Meiji restoration and I really don’t think you should speak to Grandma Noodles like that especially when she’s drunk but Kitsune’s a ninja so I suppose she’s okay

[gasp]

so anyway then we had an argument with Kar Fai and the Dragons and then these big monkeys arrived and they got angry with me too because they say an ape is different to a monkey and then they tried to tell me that whales are not fish and I was confused but I took a photo anyway and the Dragons told us that the Architects of the Flesh had this plan to take my shrine’s God and brainwash it and then they would go back in time to like 9 AD or something and bury my God somewhere so it would grow old and then when they dug it up in 2056 it would be 2000 years old and super powerful and really dirty, and then they would use it to take over the world in 2009 which I suppose they have to do because the food and fashion in 2056 is like completely saiyaku yo so I suppose they want to steal our cool

[gasp]

which they could like soooooooo do if they used my God’s power to take over the Feng Shui sites in 2009 like they own them all in 2056

[gasp]

but they could only brainwash my God because it was young because it was born in 1868 which is like…

…

…

so then we were all like let’s go back to 1868 when the God was born and convince the previous God to come with us to the future to fight the new god when it becomes the extra-old god. So we went back to 1868 and walked all the way across Hyogo in those funny wooden geta they had then and my feet hurt but we pretended to be travelling musicians and everything was all like tale of genji except for the steam trains  and it’s weird because when we went back to before I was born I wasn’t any thinner but I suppose that’s why they call it baby fat and so the God said like YEAH let’s go and kill the new god and then we went forward in time again and put our old God into a suit of Iron Armour like hagane renkinjitsu shi only bigger and I made sure I didn’t paint the little symbol in blood so it can’t be washed off with a water pistol why does no-one else ever think of these things but I suppose I didn’t try to resurrect my mummy either maybe I’m growing up

[gasp]

and in forward time which is like the future only you can’t do things there if they might stop what happened in the past which is called linear time we were all like, what are we gonna do and this big monkey called BattleChimp Potemkin said we should kill everything and Kitsune agreed (of course) and The Dragons said that they had heard that the Buro were planning on putting my Shrine’s new God that was now a super old god into a satellite called Sheba so that they could beam its Godlike powers through a space portal into the past and take over the world so we would have to stop it by going into space on a rocketship and taking the god out of the satellite and throwing it away like rubbish and it would burn up in space even though space is like really cold and then we could put our old god which is now the younger god but isn’t brainwashed into the satellite and beam its Godlike power down to earth and take over all the Feng Shui sites in 2056 and then we would be like the most powerful magicians on the planet and then we could find that omega guy and completely kill him

[gasp]

so Echo put pop-up pornographic virusses in all the world’s computers because she’s weird and then we went to Tunguska and stole a rubbish truck and drove it into a spacebase and I had to disintegrate some people that Kitsune and Grandma Noodles killed because she was drunk again and then we went downstairs into a like command centre thing and then Kitsune killed some other people who were in the way but it looked like  a kind of disco or a noh play or something only the actors don’t die in Noh plays at least that’s what mummy used to tell me when I was scared and then I disintegrated the wrong half of the door and all these guys got angry and tried to shoot us so Kitsune and Grandma Noodles killed them and then we talked to some other soldiers who were scared of us and one of them agreed to call his boss if I didn’t disintegrate his special treasures and then the boss came over but Grandma Noodles was still drunk so the boss died too and then Echo broke everything except the remote control rocket ship and we drove over there and hopped on

[gasp]

but there was this creature made of leaves that chased us and even though I poured a potion on the sand it still tried to kill us the stupid thing and Echo told us that its really bad if vines grow on a rocket just when it’s taking off ’cause it’s going really slowly and it can tip over and kill everyone like in a movie so Kitsune and I went onto the outside of the rocket ship and I had a rope and I disintegrated the vines and then the plant monster died and it was like surfing only really hot and kind of high up so I went back inside and Echo told me to make sure I locked the door properly because we were going into space and it’s really cold and now we’re on our way to the satellite and it’s boring…

 

Did Feng Shui’s authors vote for Tony Blair?

Much joking has been occurring among those playing the Feng Shui future of 2056, where the world is ruled by the ruthlessly benevolent “Architects of the Flesh” about how much it looks like London now. In short:

• excessive amounts of money are spent on rent
• the food is grey and tasteless
• police violence is the norm
• mindless consumption is heavily encouraged
• everyone wears the same clothes
• the transport system is hideously overcrowded
• everyone is paid crap, even though anything nice is really expensive
• There is omnipresent cctv

The Feng Shui authors were fond of attaching numbers to their dystopic world. But I bet if you challenged them to tell you how many cctv camers were present in the entire world in 2056, they would still underestimate the number in London now. All that remains is to have the current government ban cars and introduce a legal limit on maximum wages, and we’re there. Although the real limit in Feng Shui –  about 1 million pounds by my calculations – is more than anyone in England can ever hope to earn, so it’s the same difference really.

Anyway, this led me to think that perhaps the authors of Feng Shui were dyed-in-the-wool social democrats, and their vision of a dystopia was therefore a vision of what happens when social democracy goes horribly wrong. An illiberal version of social democracy, if you like. They just didn’t realise that a year later Tony Blair would take their future world as a manifesto for change…

 

Feng Shui’s strange future “dystopia”

Our DM (who is so old-fashioned he doesn’ t even have a blog) is drip-feeding us information about the Feng Shui world, so I can’t say too much about where we are or what we are doing, but our characters have ended up in 2056 in a strange future “dystopia” controlled by a bunch of transdimensional lunatics called the Architects of the Flesh. I suggested to the other players last night that this dystopia’s properties say a lot more about the politcs and insecurities of the authors than it does about the evils of the Architects of the Flesh. I originally thought that the properties of the 2056 dystopia marked out the writers as a bunch of libertarians, but now I’m not sure if they are right-wing or moderate liberal Americans. Here’s a list of the properties of the world in 2056 which are supposedly different from the world of 1996, and what political leanings I think they point to:

• There are no cars: In 2056, cars have been banned “for environmental and health reasons”, which is a classic fear of libertarians and small govt right-wingers everywhere. First they imposed speed limits, then they took your cars, etc. Margaret Thatcher once made a beautiful comment about how every new car on the road was a new conservative voter, and followed it up with some nice observations about how the Tory party were trying to change peoples’ minds as well as the economy (look it up in Prospect magazine ). So this is a tick for “writers are crazed libertarians”. Even East Germany had private cars!
• First they came for our guns…: In 2056, the Architects are trying to abolish the study of martial arts, having already banned all guns. This is a classic fear of libertarians everywhere, and the American right generally. Compare this dystopia with the classic cyberpunk dystopia, where everyone has access to guns. Obviously a choice was made in this regard. And the slippery slope logic that since they banned guns, now they’re going to ban martial arts, is just classic unmarked-helicopter stuff.
• There is a minimum wage!: Obviously most societies have a minimum wage now. Making a point about this when describing your vision of a dystopia as if it’s a bad thing is like a big neon sign saying “I’m a libertarian fuckstick”.
• You can’t earn more than £1 million!!!: The guidelines state explicitly that there is an upper limit to the amount a person can earn, which is 40 times the minimum wage. It’s also pretty clear from the text that there is no tax in this dystopia (bit weird, that, we’ll get onto it…). In London today the minimum wage is £5.73 before tax, which means that this dystopia would have a maximum wage of about £240 an hour before tax. That’s about £500,000 a year. Of course, on the minimum wage you don’t pay much tax – to get an after-tax income 40 times the after tax income of the minimum wage, you would need to be earning close to £1 million in London. The text states that this wage can only be earned by 60 categories of person. Doesn’t sound so bad to me! And in these straitened times, it’s hard to imagine many people getting up in arms over the fact that they can only earn a million a year. This seems like a classic libertarian fear – that people will be banned from earning more money than they will ever actually get a chance to earn.
• Rent is 30% of your after-tax income: this is presented as if it were a bad thing. For the last 10 years of the housing bubble, you’d be pretty hard-pressed to find someone who paid this low a proportion of their after tax income in rent or mortgage. In fact, it’s below most definitions of housing distress. But in the text it’s presented as if it’s a catastrophe. (Admittedly in the tax-free dystopia (?!) this also means you pay 30% of your before-tax income on rent. But I know people in London working full time who pay 70% or more of their  before-tax income on rent – on a room). I’m not sure what political streak this shows, except perhaps “trustifarian” (I live in mummy’s house, and the thought of paying more than nominal rent frightens me) or council estate bludger (ditto, but replace “mummy” with “govt”) or, I suppose, cheeto eating wingnut who lives in mummy’s basement and doesn’t know the price of eggs
• There are no taxes: This is a big hint at socialist writers. Only socialists would imagine that you don’t pay taxes in dystopia.
• Everything is pay-per-use: even the slidewalks! This suggests the writers aren’t libertarians, since libertarians would have this property in their utopia. But maybe it just means they’re stupid? Or socialists? Imagine a pay-per-use NHS…

On balance this suggests to me that the writers are naive or libertarians or both (the two go together don’t they?) They could be just trying to make an original dystopia, but a dystopia which suits feng shui would be cyberpunk, not this weird version of socialism.

A few other small points would be in order about how futuristic and dystopic their vision of 1996 is. In this dystopia:

• the food is tasteless
• the clothes are grey and everyone wears the same style
• the cops kill people by pushing them over until they die
• there are CCTV cameras everywhere
• all the products are sold by one shop

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but a society where everyone wears the same clothes, eats tasteless food, lives under the gaze of cctv cameras, pays for everything as they use it, and doesn’t have any guns, buys everything from one shop , and lives in terror of the police sounds an awful lot like London now. They just need to ban cars and put a limit on how much you can earn (a popular suggestion at present, due to the credit crunch) and they can rebrand the government as the Architects. If the wage limit is more than most people ever have a chance of earning (say, a million pounds) and one works inside the congestion zone, one pretty much wouldn’t notice the difference…

 

Moments of Feng Shui Madness

So, here are some examples  of how we play our Feng Shui craziness…

1. Psycho Gun nut gets to work: Sure, we were meant to be reconnoitring and using our (very sub-standard) seduction skills to get into the building site, but our armed-to-the-teeth Chow Yun Fat hard-boiled wannabe gun nut decided to go in the “easy” way and started a gun battle with all 6 security guards, who turned out to be quite well armed. Being unarmoured and soft, the rest of us decided that this constituted a distraction of epic proportions, and ran off to the other side of the building site to cut a hole in the fence. As we ran away, Yukiko texted some advice to the psycho gun nut: “Keep M Busy. Die well. thx c u l8r”. Improvisation by text, I like it!
2. The karaoke sanctuary: we have been encouraged to use the terrain and surroundings to our advantage, and to make them up as we go, so I obliged. Before we went to the afore-mentioned building site  Yukiko identified a karaoke bar on the other side of the road from their hiding spot. She popped inside, used her conjuration magic to sanctify one of the singing rooms for several days, and then paid for an all night ticket. This meant that the characters had a karaoke-box bolthole should they run into any over-powered supernatural creatures on the building site…
3. Don’t talk now, I’m concentrating: So Miss Yukiko needed to do some reconnaisance while the rest of her group had their arses handed to them by a big, lipless bastard. So she squatted down behind a dumpster bin, flipped out her phone and started playing tetris. While so concentrating, she summoned up a Yuki no onna (Snow woman), a kind of ghost, to prowl the perimeter of the battlefield looking for fleeing or incoming baddies… all while she played tetris behind the dumpster.
4. Flattening the baddies: so the battle wasn’t going at all well because the big lipless bastard was a named bruiser, not at all nice. Again Yukiko invented some surroundings, this time noticing that the named bruiser was right beneath a huge construction crane. She flipped her phone, summoned a specialised battering-ram demon on top of the crane, and had it smash the gantries so the counter-weight would fall on the named demon. Then she texted all her fighting fellows: “Trouble coming, get away, thx cu l8r”. Unfortunately, in flattening the bad guy she also flattened his phone, which had their only lead to the head honcho… oh well…

Miss Akizuki is definitely the most fun I’ve had with a modern adventurer for a long time. I’m hoping there’ll be lots more hijinx to come…

 

秋月雪子：Introducing Yukiko Akizuki

Yukiko Akizuki is my Feng Shui character. She is a 20 year old ex-shrine maiden from a Shinto Shrine in Izu, South of Tokyo, whose shrine was ransacked by ugly big-nosed foreigners. These foreigners killed the other residents of the shrine and stole the god that lives behind the shrine, and Yukiko – who survived somehow, possibly not entirely intact – has vowed to find them and destroy them, and return her shrine’s god to its rightful place. To help her in this quest, the shrine’s fox messengers gave Yukiko some special magical powers, and a tuft of fox fur she can use to conjure them when she is in need.

Yukiko, having just flattened a Named Bad Guy

Yukiko then went to Tokyo, where she sank into Shibuya culture for a while and became a Yamanba, living in internet cafes and causing lots of trouble, before she finally sorted out some money (no-one knows quite how). During her time in Shibuya she may have become involved with some seedy characters, because she has a book of purikura (Print Club) photos. Purikura are the little pictures you take in those photo booths in Tokyo, then decorate with stars and funny faces. All of Yukiko’s purikura photos are of her with the various demons she can summon. They serve as proof that she can conjure a variety of different nasties…

No-one in this image is a demon

In Feng Shui game terms Yukiko is a Magic Cop archetype, with 1 gun shtick replaced with a kung fu shtick (the foxy one, of course). Her magic is healing, conjuring and fertility. She is pretty weak and very prone to avoiding combat. Most of the time she uses her conjurations and stays out of combat. We are still working on the conjurations, but it seems that she needs to play tetris on her mobile phone in order to concentrate when she is casting spells. Yukiko is a bit strange and anti-social, and maybe not very sensible… but maybe that will change when she gets her god back…

 

Current Role-playing: Feng Shui

So my role-playing group split into 2 sessions this year  (as a kind of new years’ resolution I suppose), largely because I’m too lazy to do a session a week. So we had a vote (the only time democracy has been allowed near my Infernal campaign!) and eventually settled on Feng Shui, being DM’d by my nice Cumbrian friend Martin.

Feng Shui is some kind of crazy rules-lite rpg based around the genre of Hong Kong action flicks. Essential properties of Feng Shui (at least, as we’re doing it) are:

• All the PCs are essentially crazy super heroes with crazy powers
• All the archetypes are based on some kind of hollywood or hong kong action movie
• PCs have special powers called shticks which are really the main thing they use
• NPCs are divided into named NPCs (bad arsed enemies) and unnamed NPCs (cannon fodder)
• All PCs have to have a plot hook, a reason they are in the adventure, which requires some kind of nemesis, and a really shlocky story
• Wherever possible, PCs should do crazy, heroic and fantastic things for fun

Our group is half kung fu girls and half psycho boys, and we are carving our way through a cast of unnamed badguys. I just flattened the named one using a 50 ton weight. It was fun. We are really enjoying it and getting into the flow of things. I am not usually a fan of rules-lite games, especially with the rules as broken as they are in Feng Shui, but I have to say I  don’t care in this case. The rules are so broken that I have had to invent suggested conjuring rules, because the ones in the book are useless. We’re kind of making it up as we go along. But it’s a barrel of laughs and so far the most fun I think I have ever had while playing!