8 Albany Place
United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland
1st August 1755
Dear Mr. Crow
Regarding your letter of the 17th July, I am of course delighted to assure you that, should my various projects in the Americas come to fruition, you and yours will be granted full diplomatic immunity and unimpeded access to all regions under the immediate control of my forces; as well as the right to move your own forces outside of these regions for your own purposes. Your help has already proven invaluable, and I understand the nature and extent of assistance you offer in the event that the main part of my plans should fail.
Regarding the eventual consequences of, as you call them, my “core strategic objectives”, I can assure you that if I fail to move “with all due haste” to “neutralise unnecessary sentient obstacles” among the Native population, you will be free to act in whatever way you see fit to assure your own “demographic goals”. I can, however, assure you that my main associates – Colonels Williamson and White – are eager to enact their principles regarding the Noble Savage, and I am confident that you will find your own “strategic resources” will remain “untapped” while both of our organisations “progress [sic] mutually agreed project outcomes”.
I would also humbly request that you find a less intrusive means of delivering your messages. Not only is the smell of sulfur difficult to remove from my draperies, but it took me some hours to find my scullery maid after she fled in terror from your messenger. I trust that you understand my situation, and remain in this as in all matters,
Yours Sincerely etc.